Thursday, April 16, 2009

50 Billion Sold, 2 Crushed

A couple got quite a surprise outside a McDonald's in Arizona yesterday:

A giant set of golden arches outside a McDonald’s in Eastern Arizona toppled in 60-mph winds Wednesday, crushing a Naperville couple as they sat in their SUV in the parking lot.

Wow. Maybe you could say they couldn't get away because of... fallen arches? Huh? Am I right, people? Hello?

Screw it, maybe I'll just put on pants and go outside if you're gonna look at me like that.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Jean Paul Sartre: 'Au revoir, gopher'

How wonderful is this: the city of Spokane, WA has begun using "The Rodenator", a tool that uses shock waves to kill rodents and collapse their holes.

"Neighbors in the area may hear sounds like gunshots as the Rodenator blows up the holes throughout the week."

I keep turning it over in my mind and I can't see how this could ever possibly go wrong. Also, if Bill Murray is NOT seeing residuals for this, his agent needs to be fired IMMEDIATELY.

Ask Wang, he'll tell ya.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Having a Ball

Ok, I have to admit; this one has me a bit torn. One the one hand, the mockery of a poorly thought out protest staged by ill-informed people amuses me greatly... but a national news outlet resorting to multiple dick jokes in one segment makes me sad:

"For most Americans, Wednesday, April 15th will be Tax Day, but, in our fouth story tonight, it's gonna be 'tea-bagging day' for the right wing and they are going nuts for it."
-MSNBC's David Shuster

Here's the full video:

Look, I really am all for making fun of jackasses, but there's a time and a place. If ever we needed journalists to be on the... um... ball, it's now. Maybe the sly double entendres should be left to the Stewarts, Colberts, Mahers and Wonkettes of the world, as opposed to the national news outlets and Time Magazine.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Beginning

"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
-Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill